July 2010

The majority of people in my life think I should be over July 2010.

Wrong answer.

First of all, exactly what I am supposed to be over?

There is a definite Before Wildacres and After Wildacres.

And when your life is dramatically changed, when you are traumatized, and you can’t recall why, it never leaves you. It sits in your brain, still haunts you, and demands a resolution.

Not a resolution that magically fixes everything, but a peace of mind that comes with knowing what happened.

It’s like waking up in a hospital, obviously hurt in some way, and everyone comes into your room to say you don’t need to know.

I’m here to say, almost 15 years later, I absolutely have a right to know.

Meanwhile,

Write on!

When I worked for the state of NC, in the unemployment division, I had to resolve all kinds of issues everyday.

One issue in particular was the “unresolved issue” that would prevent a claimant from receiving their unemployment check. Often, the claimant had only pressed the wrong option when filing by telephone.

Error or no error, nothing would release the check until we in the office manually removed it in the computer. Otherwise, nothing would happen.

I was always quick to resolve the issue so the claimant wouldn’t have to wait too long to receive the only income they had at the time.

Every situation was different.

I’ve often referred to my PTSD as one of those recurring unresolved issues stuck in the computer system.

It’ s still in my brain, returning repeatedly. As if demanding resolution.

For almost 15 years, nothing has helped resolve this unresolved issue. Believe me, I did my part trying to move on.

The unknown trauma continues.

” sigh”

When I worked for the state of NC, in the unemployment division, I had to resolve all kinds of issues everyday.

One issue in particular was the “unresolved issue” that would prevent a claimant from receiving their unemployment check. Often, the claimant had only pressed the wrong option when filing by telephone.

Error or no error, nothing would release the check until we in the office manually removed it in the computer. Otherwise, nothing would happen.

I was always quick to resolve the issue so the claimant wouldn’t have to wait too long to receive the only income they had at the time.

Every situation was different.

I’ve often referred to my PTSD as one of those recurring unresolved issues stuck in the computer system.

It’ s still in my brain, returning repeatedly. As if demanding resolution.

For almost 15 years, nothing has helped resolve this unresolved issue. Believe me, I did my part trying to move on.

The unknown trauma continues.

” sigh”